One Year Old

Bella,

You are 1!

I can't believe you are really a year old! Boy did we celebrate your big day!!

In the last month:

~ You have grown since your last doctor's visit.. At that visit, you were 23 lbs 4 oz and 28.5 inches with a head circumference of 18.5. This puts you at ~50% weight for your height, 20% height for your age, and 90% (or more) for your head. Not sure what we are going to do with you, short stuff...
~ You are into everything..since you started walking it seems like you are running and finding everything we have been hoping you wouldn't!
~ You drink about 24 oz of formula a day, eat 3 meals and atleast 1 snack a day. We are beginning the transition to whole milk and praying you will love the sippy with it! Your favorite foods are anything that has potato or sweet potato in the name. You also like most fruits and veggies including apple sauce, green beans,  and peaches.
~ You are sleeping from 8 pm to 6 am every night. Most days you take atleast 2 naps totaling 2-4 hours. You are sleeping well in your own room at night.
~You are still wearing size 3 diapers...
~You are wearing almost all 12 month clothes (except your smocked dresses which run big...)
~ This month, we have spent alot of time at home since your daddy has started football! We are excited to get to go to a game soon!
~ You also got to watch your first Batesville Water Carnival Parade! You had a blast hanging out with some of our best friends watching the floats!
~ You also spent a lot of time with Gigi and Pops as well as their parents! It was a great month for family time! We enjoyed it as much as the family and you did!

Bella,
It's hard to think that a year ago, we were holding a tiny baby in our arm and now we are chasing you around the house! We have enjoyed this past year watching you grow and learn! You are such a smiling, happy baby that is full of love! You are the best thing that has ever happened to us. We can't wait to see what year 2 holds for us -  I'm sure there will be lots of moments of testing, but also lots of moments of snuggles! I hope you know how much we love you! Your daddy is so proud of you and shows you off to his students every chance he gets! Your momma thinks you are the cutest thing ever and constantly is shopping for stuff for you... She loves to see you dressed up and playing! More than seeing you dressed up or showing you off, we love the times where you want to snuggle with us and just are content with life as it is. We hope you can always find the happiness and peace we feel when you are wrapped in our arms! We hope you continue to grow and gain wisdom from those around you (hopefully, including us!!) We look forward to the next day, week, month, year, decade, and lifetime with you!
Love Always,

Your Mommy and Daddy

The first week...

I have debated posting this (mainly because of my embarrassment and feeling like a failure), but I feel like by posting this I could maybe help someone else not feel like a failure. The joys of parenthood, especially for a first-timer is that younare going to make mistakes, bad things may happen, but you can't guilt trip yourself, blame yourself too much, and you shouldn't beat yourself up about those things. (this is much easier said, than done. It's also easier to say these things 3 weeks later - and to be honest I still blame myself to some degree.

As has been posted, Bella was re-admitted in the hospital at the tiny age of 5 days. Why you ask? She had dehydration and hypernatremia (elevated levels of sodium in her blood.). I'm sure now you want to know what caused it/how it happened? Both were caused by issuesbwith her breastfeeding. We knew she was having some issues, but thought we had worked through most of them (except those cause by my eating).

We were discharged from the hospital with an appointment two days later with the peditrician. The appointment went okay. (okay, it went terrible, not the actual appointment, but she got hungry why we were there and then had trouble feeding, but finally got that done.) she had also lost more weight, which was also frustrating for me. You see, I have this idea that I should have the perfect child (I mean obviously she is beautiful) and I should be the perfect mom (again, Please Don't Get This Idea Stuck In Your Head!!!!). B's peditirician asked me to pump and bottle feed her so we knew how much she was eating (again, not something I ever wanted to do. I was determined to exclusively breastfeed this child, but after seeing her weight loss and talking to the doctor, I gave up keeping that expectation.)he also wanted to run some tests, which was a long, emotional ordeal.

By the time we made it home, I wanted to cry (I think I did...). I got the pump out and got everything sanitized and ready to pump. Turned the pump on and it worked for like 30 seconds and it just stopped. I'm not kidding!!! I about lost it!! This wasn't a cheapo pump. It wlas a Medela. I paid ALOT of money for it. And for it to stop working before I could use it after the horrible day I had...I about lost it. A call to Medela and my mom helped calm me down. So the power supply shorted. Luckily, the pump comes with a battery pack. So off to pumping I go...

Fast forward a couple of hours to ~8 that night. I get a phone call from the doctor with the news that the blood tests came back showing the issues (dehydration and elevated sodium levels) and that we needed to come to the hospital to readmit B. My heart dropped. I don't think I have ever felt more vulnerable, scared, and like a failure. By the way, the first two emotions were okay, the last I know wasn't okay. I tell this because I don't want anyone else to feel that way. How are you supposed to know that your precious baby has high sodium levels? It's not like she has a sign over her head. As far as the dehydration, not even the doctor realized how bad she was til he got the results back. (or at least that's what it appeared..) and I had my mom around and she didn't realize it. It has taken several days for me to understand that I'm not a failure and that I'm still learning. I beat myself up a lot the first couple of weeks which was not good for myself or B.

B was in the hospital for 5 days to lower her sodium levels slowly (we had to go very slowly not to shock her system.) This was done with low sodium IV fluids (for the first day and a couple of hours) then it was observation and eating. The dehydration was taken care of with the pumping and ensuring that she got certain amounts of food. (The IV also probably helped:).)

She is a fighter and such a good baby. Her mommy is donproud of her. She did a great job in the hospital and the nurses loved her (or at least seemed to be enamored with her..) The Hubs (daddy) and I stayed with her the entire time. Her Gigi was here when she was admitted and stayed for a couple more days. Her other grandmother also came to see her while she was in the hospital.

As I've talked with more people, it appears the issues with eating and even the dehydration are more common than what I had heard of. The issue is that no one talks about it. Again, I'm not sure if it's afraid of being seen as a failure or just something parents forget or don't want to mention because they don't want to scare you. The issue is that by not talking it makes it worse when it happens and you haven't heard of it. The sodium issue is more rare, but again was mostly due to the dehydration. The most important lesson here is to talk. To overcome the fear of being seen as a failure to share a story that may help a mom and her baby. To be honest, no one thinks that you are a failure. They understand that there is a learning curve and that you are doing the best you can and that some of this just happens sometimes. So don't beat yourself up. (I wish I had listened more when people gave me these encouraging words...)

Hopefully, my sharing of this experience will help others. Also, hopefully, B won't think I'm a terrible mother from hearing this story.

Pictures from Bella's First Visitors

So I'm way behind on pictures (and posts for that matter), but I thought I'd post a few from her first hospital stay.

Sweet girl

Daddy and B

B rooting on the Hogs

Aunt A and B

My granddad, me, and B

B, myself, and Aunt A

B and all her cuteness

I find this picture terrible of me, but this is us getting ready to leave...it had been a long day.

B and me..

Rocking and waiting

She was soo small in her car seat

Bundled up and ready to go home

The Birth of Isabelle Lorraine

Isabelle Lorraine was born on September 16th at 16:41.

She weighed 6 lbs 7.3 oz, was 17.75 inches long.

 

Here is a short summary of her birth.

Due to being diagnosed with a mild case of Gestational Diabetes, my doctor informed me somewhere around 34 weeks that we would not go past 39 weeks. As each week passed, we continued to discuss what that meant (though he was hopeful that she would come on her own). At 38@ weeks (well 37 and 6 days), I had my next to last appointment. The game plan was that I would come in for my normal appointment (exactly one week from then) and based on my progression, we would induce Thursday or Friday.

On Thursday, September 15th, I headed to the doctor's office. I had progressed more than I had last week, but still need a little more time. Based on that, he scheduled me to arrive at The hospital Thursday night at 8 to begin "prep work" for the induction (which would take place on Friday morning). I came home with my mom who was here for the fun and we just spent that afternoon doing what we do best - shopping and walking.

After pizza for dinner, we arrived at the hospital around 8. I was admitted and taken to my room (2312). There they did the normal admission stuff and started me on the prep work (i.e. Cervadil). The Hubs hung around while mom headed home for the night. They also gave me an Ambien to try to help me sleep. Around 3:30 AM, they had to remove the cervadil as I began to have regular contractions (I think they were less than 5 minutes apart...).

At 6:30, we started the induction with the pitocin drip. The doctor came in at 7:30 to check on progression (I was 2-3 cm and 90% effaced). At that point he tried a couple of times to break my water. It didn't go do well, but the nurse suggested giving the epidural first. Insert long complicated story of my adventure with the epidural. The long and short is two people attempted to give me an epidural (a CRNA and the anesthesiologist) and combined they had to do it at least 3 times (pretty sure it was 4, though) and in the end, it didnt take properly. This took a couple of hours to sort out and try to fix... In the mean time, Dr. Jones came back and my water finally broke.

By noon, things had progressed to where I was 5 cm dialated and making good progress. They were still playing with the epidural. They upped the pitocin to the final amount thinkingnthat would help progress me to delivery point. At 2, there was no change in dilation, so we began to change positions to try to help. But at 4, again therenwas no change. Based on this information, Dr. Jones recommended a C-section. By this time, I was exhausted due to the lack of pain medicine (and I was in ALOT of pain) and the fact that it appeared that I wasn't progressing, so we agreed with the doctor. They began prepping me for surgery and took me to the OR around 4:15. (I did get a spinal in the OR, which did work!) The Hubs and mom came in the OR once everything was ready and stood by me in anticipation of the birth of our little angel.

At 4:41, our world changed forever as Miss Bella entered it. She was (and still is) the most beautiful sight. We got yo hold her and see her before they took her to run tests. Eventually, both mom and baby made it back in the room. Mom, dad, and baby had some alone time while my parents and little sister went to grab a bite to eat. (My dad and sister arrived while I was coming out of surgery.) When they returned, we introduced them to Bella.

38 Weeks and 6 Days - Bella Will be Here SOON!

I'm 38 weeks and 6 days!

38 Weeks and 4 days

38 Weeks and 5 days

38 Weeks and 6 days

How Far Along:  38 Weeks and 6 Days

Size of baby:  19 to 22 inches from crown to toes… and she weighs ~7 pounds (about the size of a watermelon).

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  According to my appointment today, I’ve lost ~2 pounds (I’d say I’m pretty stable…somewhere plus or minus 2 lbs…the nurse and I have a running joke about it) so ~7-9 lbs according to the doctor’s scale. According to my scale, I’m at ~12-14 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: Yes. For the last week, I’ve pretty much tried to stay in maternity stuff since it will get packed away pretty soon. L

Gender:  It’s a precious baby girl!

Movement: Every day.  She keeps pushing in uncomfortable places and rolling a lot, but I figure she is probably just trying to be comfortable

Sleep: I’m waking up atleast three- four times a night. I have slept well the last few nights…that or been so sleep deprived that I don’t notice things like my phone ringing…alarm going off..you know, the norm.

What I miss:  Sweets…I’m having cravings for anything sweet right now…not a nice joke to play on someone with GD…

Cravings: Cake and Sweets

Symptoms:  Jabs and flips. Feeling panicked that this baby will be here soon. Nesting like crazy according to the husband. Awkward stares from people and people asking when I’m due.

Best Moment this past week:  So, I’m writing this today because I will be in the hospital tomorrow (well technically, we will go in tonight) at 39 weeks. We will be inducing Bella (unless she decides to come on her own today) tomorrow. It has been unreal the support and love we have received throughout this whole pregnancy. We are in a bittersweet moment where we realize our lives will never be the same and yet we are thrilled to be able to see and hold sweet Bella. Looking forward to tomorrow and the days to come.

Pregnancy Highlights: