Really, Devil, Really?!?!

Just when things were starting to look positive. I was finally feeling upbeat and happy about everything...and then, the Devil stepped back in. Amazingly, though, God is a greater power and has limited the Devil's damage. So to stop talking in metaphors, here's the update.

My Granddad (my mom's dad also the man who lost his wife two months ago TODAY...ARGH) is in the hospital. He was having shortness of breath, swollen legs, heart pain, and probably other things which my mom either has failed to mention or doesn't even know about. See Granddaddy is like that...He hides his problems. For instance, when I was in highschool, he spent like 2 weeks in the hospital due to a hernia that should have been dealt with months before.

So anyways, my aunt finally made Granddad go to the doctor (it was that or the ER...) and the doctor sent him to the hospital...He has been in there for over a day now. They have reduced the fluid buildup but think he may have had a minor heart attack or some blovckage or something...So sometime soon they will do an angiogram and potentially a stint.

There is no need to say that I'm worried, concerned, scared, hurt, and generally upset. I do not like this at all. I do not want to lose another Grandparent so soon. It stinks to know he is in the same hospital Grandma was in a year and a few months ago with a similiar problem. I don't like that they have gotten old. I don't like that Grandma died. Especially less than 48 hours after I entered the state of Arkansas.

Me, the normally positive person, is not. I'm trying to be. I keep thinking that I'm happy that my aunt forced him to the doctor. I'm glad there are doctors taking care of him. I'm just tired of sadness and loneliness. Even though, I know I'm never alone, it's been hard. Especially since the hubs has been off coaching.

The other hard part is that when I feel this way...so lonely and unpositive....I just don't want to talk with anyone. I want to curl on the couch and do nothing...But I'm trying not to. I'm trying to keep going. And praying. That's really all I can do...